Why the fuck am I even reading this?
I’ve heard it’s Twilight porn, and since I wished for some sex while reading Twilight (a series I have yet to finish reading because I lost interest after their honeymoon), I thought this would make up for it. I had a fifteen hour flight ahead of me, I was tempted to have an engaging book with me. I was stuck. It’s been three days since I got the book from the gift shop...
If there was a school for writers
How to torture/kill in the saddest ways your favourite characters - with Suzanne Collins.
How to be a complete troll about your plot - with Rick Riordan.
How to be the most cruel, harsh, sadist and violent writer on Earth - with Michael Grant.
How to give your characters the most revolting and traumatic past - with J. K. Rowling.
How to plagiarize and get paid for it. - with Cassandra Clare.
How to have the most crazy, deep and lush metaphors (which don't need exactly to have meaning or sense) - with Tahereh Mafi.
How to have the mad and non-sense ideas to books, but make them best-sellers - with Scott Westerfeld.
How to be a boss - with Neil Gaiman.
How to be C. S. Lewis - with C. S. Lewis.
How to make the funcking reader cry a fucking ocean in three words - with Nicholas Sparks.
How to have the best and most creative narrative of the books - with Markus Zusak.
How to imagine a whole new universe, creatures and even a new language - with J. R. R. Tolkien.
How to write teenage stories without being disgusting - with Meg Cabot.
How to write p... never mind. - with E. L. James.
How to have the weirdest ass plots with the most psycho characters and still win hundreds of awards and have a continuous flow of revenue from said books like a boss. - with Stephen King.
How to write a fictional novel while still using real life facts - with Kathy Reichs
How to create characters so human that you believe they are real - with John Green.
How to have the exact same basic plot formula in every book but still make it interesting and sell copies - with John Green
How to break everyone's hearts with your first book and then put the pieces back together with the second - with Gayle Forman.
How to ruin the love life of your reader giving fake hopes - with Becca FitzPatrick.
How to write a series and have it become a hit TV show with millions of fans worldwide a decade later - with L. J. Smith.
How to have a terminal mental illness impairing motor ability and thought and still crank out books like no tomorrow. - with Terry Pratchett
How to make a perfect character relationship and fuck it up in six chapters - with Estevan Vega.
How to kill everyone and still keep your readers interested - George R.R. Martin.
How to be shit and pretend you are good - with Stephenie Meyer.
What am I even doing?